it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
