thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
