i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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