I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
