I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
