we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
