I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
