Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
