so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
