he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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