Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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