two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
