Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize