im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
