we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
