A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We talked him into tasing himself.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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