Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
