I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
