question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
