Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
