he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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