You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
