wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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