Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
