I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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