just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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