Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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