You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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