My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im six kinds of drunk right now
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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