I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize