What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
