CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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