well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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