I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
