so explain again why im purple
no
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The adults are the big ones right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
