He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
