if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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