shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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