I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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