You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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