my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
