we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize