lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
