just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
