So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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