he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
