i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
