is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
