My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Me too!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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