Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
