Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
