i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no you cant smoke seaweed
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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