I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
