I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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