For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
