Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
