you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm really busy with my period
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